Friday, 10 July 2015

My friend Ellie doesn't have a telly

My friend Ellie doesn't have a telly,
So to talk to her is rather tough.
Because we can't have a chat about Nigella's Jack-Fruit Jelly
Or the BBC 2 coverage of Crufts.

She doesn't know the show where they buy antiques on the cheap,
Or the merits of Bo Derrick's cha-cha-cha.
And we cannot really natter about Veep or Shawn the Sheep
Or that she looks a little bit like She-Rah.

I guess I'll have to focus on some other conversation;
Something that we both might care about.
Like our feelings, health, religion, or some corrupt politician,
Or if the referendum's in or out.

So to be more amenable, we talk of things more meaningful,
And overall it's working quite well.
We know more about each other, and less about Big Brother.
Do I miss it? Do I hell.

I’ll tell you why you should vote for me

I’m a better person than you. Harsh, I know, but true. Just look at my suit, my cufflinks, hair, my Bertie Wooster aristocratic air, m...