Wednesday, 17 June 2015

Speech to the Academic Staff

We understand that these are trying times:
The money's tight, and profit margins low.
We've lost, investing product on sub-primes.
So painful as it is, you'll have to go.

We'd like to thank you for the work you've done,
But can't because your research isn't great.
And even though this benefits no one,
It's a sacrifice that we're willing to make.

I’ll tell you why you should vote for me

I’m a better person than you. Harsh, I know, but true. Just look at my suit, my cufflinks, hair, my Bertie Wooster aristocratic air, m...