I’ll tell you why you should vote for me

I’m a better person than you.
Harsh, I know, but true.
Just look at my suit, my cufflinks, hair,
my Bertie Wooster aristocratic air,
my Oxford polo blue.

I don’t know much about the World
(at least, the one you live in).
But I’m an economic genius
(ignore all those fraud hearings).

I understand you’re struggling
with health and wealth and work.

But that’s all someone else’s fault,
and I’m the only one can halt
the irresponsible assault
of some Labour berk.

I’ll tell you what you want to hear:
You really should be proud.
We’re better than those other chaps:
All that foreign crowd.

and while you are not,
obviously,
as good a chap as me,
We share in the same noble blood:
We’re just the same! You see?

So vote for me.
Although I’m posh,
I’ll represent your interests,
and give you everything you need:
panem et circenses.