Tuesday, 11 September 2018

I’ll tell you why you should vote for me

I’m a better person
than you.
Harsh, I know, but true.
Just look at my suit, my cufflinks, hair,
my Bertie Wooster
aristocratic air,
my Oxford polo blue.

I don’t know much
about the World
(at least, the one you live in).
But I’m an economic
genius
(ignore all those fraud hearings).

I understand
you’re struggling
with health
and wealth
and work.

But that’s all
someone else’s fault,
and I’m the only one
can halt
the irresponsible assault
of some
Labour
berk.

I’ll tell you
what you want to hear:
You really should
be proud.
We’re better than
those other chaps:
All that foreign
crowd.
and while you are not,
obviously,
as good a chap as me,
We share in the same
noble blood:
We’re just the same!
You see?

So vote for me.
Although I’m posh,
I’ll represent
your interests,
and give you
everything you need:
panem et circenses.

I’ll tell you why you should vote for me

I’m a better person than you. Harsh, I know, but true. Just look at my suit, my cufflinks, hair, my Bertie Wooster aristocratic air, m...